Please not tonight.

I have never really liked to sleep. I don’t understand people who like being in bed. I spent my adolescence on meth. It has been two decades since I did a line. Oh my God. It has been 20 years. 

For the first time since I got clean, I’m not solid in my sobriety. I can’t decide if that matters. I can’t decide if any of this matters. Maybe all that actually matters is that my heart is still beating…

I used to dismiss the “one day at a time” mantra but I totally get it tonight. 

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