List

Hospital. Bio Dad leaves cuz my diagnosis triggered him. New dad started doing what he did to me. He and brother do it together. Mom let it happen! John in the park across from my babysitters house. Yhose 2 older kids at babysitter Maureen’s 😦 and what was up with babysitter Candy?Abortion. CPS puts me with my absent bio dad who didn’t want me. Homeless teenager. Too many men who offered safety and shelter. Speed. Coma. Speed. Speed OD. Home to Mom. Repeat step 4. 

Flew into the Balkan war to join a convent with no success so I came home. Attempt to repeat step 4. Moved around the country to stay safe. Ex asshole. Domestic violence shelter wouldn’t let me stay cuz a woman can’t be a domestic abuser and homeless shelter wouldn’t take me cuz I put them in danger. I could have died. I think I should have… It’s too much. My list isn’t done. I can’t. It’s too much

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9 thoughts on “List”

  1. I am so sorry for all the terrible things that happened to you. Your courage, strength, and perseverance are astounding to me. I know it probably doesn’t feel like it but, to me, you are a testament to the tenacity of the human spirit. Thank you so much for sharing. You have deeply touched my heart.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am heartbroken to hear the things you have had to go through. I wish the world was not so cruel sometimes. I wish I could help to heal you.. But I can’t. I can only offer you this virtual hug and tell you how amazing you are doing, and you are surviving. You are incredible even if you don’t see it yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Healing can be a long, slow process for trauma survivors. For a long time, I felt like every step forward was followed by two steps backward. For me, part of the healing process was simply to acknowledge that those things happened to me. Sharing what I experienced with others who can understand is also a big part of healing for me. I just had to trust that the healing was happening, in its own time and in its own way. You’ve already taken tremendous steps toward healing by creating this blog and sharing what you’re going through.

      Liked by 1 person

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