I hate Larry Nasser

I have so much anger and hatred for that Larry Nasser guy and other high profile perps! I have no problem expressing my disgust for him. I was posting on Facebook about how “monsters like him should…” and then in my head popped “except my abusers”.

Then i was contacted by someone who was informing me of the many other adults who knew and allowed it to continue. I replied, “All of the adults who swept it under the rug make me wish that hell was a real thing.” But then in my head, “but not my mom.” I don’t want my Mother to be punished. I have no problem feeling anger for her. She did so much damage to me, but I know she did her best. She screwed something up that I can’t explain. But it’s not right for a grown ass woman to feel like a helpless dumb kid who needs saved. Nobody saved me. It is what it is, and I need to move the hell on! I’m so tired of me! I hate myself more than I hate my Dad. He’s sick. He’s just sick… and he put it on me so I am too.

I’m supposed to hate him, right? I am not sure if this is normal. I don’t feel like it is. I should be angry at my dad, but i’m not. I’m lots of emotions that are bad and sad and scared. Not mad. I’m mad at everyone else’s abuser but mine!

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2 thoughts on “I hate Larry Nasser”

  1. Yeah…I’m not mad at mine either. I am mad at the ones who did nothing about them. But the actual abuser I’m not. I think whatever way you feel is normal. I don’t think there can be an abnormal or normal in the abuse equation

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I felt anger and even hate for the boys and men who had raped me, but not for my older brother Buddy who had molested me for five years, and who often beat me. Whenever my older brother Rick would come to my defense by attacking Buddy physically, I would jump in between them. I didn’t want Rick to hurt Buddy. He was my brother and I loved him. When I got older I was able to see Buddy as sick and damaged (I think he was sexually abused), someone who was battling his own demons. Over time, I was able to forgive him. I think all this is a “normal” response for many survivors of childhood sexual abuse, especially incest.

    Liked by 1 person

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