I’m sorry I talk too much!

I want to scream but I can’t even whisper. What if my Mom had chosen to protect me? Why wasn’t I important enough?? Why wasn’t he sleeping with her instead?! I hate myself! He gave his daughter an STD and an abortion. I hate myself so much.


One thought on “I’m sorry I talk too much!”

  1. I’m so sorry that you are experiencing so much self-loathing. I’ve been there. I know how overwhelming it can be. Is there anyway you can focus on some positive things about yourself? For instance, I can tell just by what you write that you are a kind, caring, sensitive, and compassionate human being. There is so much good inside of you. What happened to you was not your fault. My mother didn’t protect me. For a long time, I couldn’t understand why. For me, I realized that it was just too much for her to handle. She didn’t know how to deal with it, so she went into denial and pretended it wasn’t happening. I used to concern myself with the “why” of the molestation and rapes, but I learned to accept that I will never know why. And that’s okay. What was important was that I needed to do everything I could to take care of myself. I hope you will find a way to love yourself, which is the hardest thing for us survivors to do – I’m still working on it.

    Liked by 1 person

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