I don’t know what to say. I’m in a lot of pain. I want to do very destructive things to myself but its fine. Its fine cuz ill live and quality of life don’t matter. I feel alone. It doesn’t matter how many people are around or how many people say they’re there or understand, I feel alone. I hate myself for this because I’m not alone. He really is a good guy. I’m broken. Nothing is easing the flashbacks. I’m sad and I’m angry and all sorts of bad shit! Maybe I’m over reacting. I don’t want to be alive in the body my dad soiled… I’m not fucking ok but I am in the eyes of society cuz quality of life matters little in this society.


7 thoughts on “Confusion”

      1. Please don’t ever feel as though you are complaining. You are simply expressing how you feel and what you are going through. Sharing your burden with others will help lighten your load. I hope you will continue to let us all know what is happening with you.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I spend a lot of time feeling guilty for feeling this way because I know my husband would do anything for me. As would yours – from what I’ve read on your blog. Idk how to properly explain the relief I feel that I’m not the only one married to a loving spouse who feels this way. Tysm.


      1. I felt the same when I read your post. Here I have a loving man that tries sooo hard and I lay here feeling alone.
        You definitely dont have to explain. I’m just glad someone else gets it.
        It’s not something I can explain either really. It’s as if someone robbed me of a piece of my heart and there is a void of loneliness that nothing mends it

        Liked by 1 person

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