Just sitting

The sun will start to rise soon and I’ve been sitting here for hours. Just trying to breathe. Trying to not be destructiven. Trying not to cry too loud. I thought I’d fall back to sleep but I’m overwhelmed with pain. The kind that’s physical presence triggers the emotional scars from their creation. I’m damaged. When I see healthy parenting, it shouldn’t make me sad. But it kind of does. I love my mother, but i feel cheated.

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