The sun will start to rise soon and I’ve been sitting here for hours. Just trying to breathe. Trying to not be destructiven. Trying not to cry too loud. I thought I’d fall back to sleep but I’m overwhelmed with pain. The kind that’s physical presence triggers the emotional scars from their creation. I’m damaged. When I see healthy parenting, it shouldn’t make me sad. But it kind of does. I love my mother, but i feel cheated.