Chronic pelvic pain

I have had so many gynecological issues throughout my life. I’m not strong enough to handle the chronic pelvic pain today. I’m using medical marijuana for pain. It’s temporary relief. But these pains trigger me. They make me feel like it’s happening right now. I don’t know what to do right now but I can’t handle it. Why is it so bad today? I fell asleep without saying my affirmation last night. Maybe that’s why…it wasn’t just my dad either. Its messing with me bad. I’ve written about it in my entry called list. I don’t have someone I can tell this to. I’m not sure I should I feel disgusting and uuussseeeddd.

I wish I weren’t disabled so I could do something simple like take a walk. I’m holding on for my husband…

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