I told her stuff…

I have written about how mom walked in but I’ve never said the words outloud until my Monday appointment.

I told my counselor about how she looked in my eyes and left. It was so hard to talk about. I have gotten about 10 hours since my appointment 4 days ago. The nightmares are changing. My chronic pain and gastroparesis nausea stuff is at full flare. I’m already scared of Monday and it is 3 days away.

Talking about my mom’s role is hard. Talking about my dad’s role will be harder…

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2 thoughts on “I told her stuff…”

  1. I had gastroparesis for three years as a result of my bulimia. Thankfully, it healed. My oldest brother walked in on my brother having sex with me. I thought, “Great! He’s going to tell Mom and it will finally be over (I was 11). He told her when she got home from work. She looked at me with total disgust, walked away, and never said a word about it. The abuse went on for two more years. Looking back, I think maybe she just hadn’t a clue as to how to handle the situation, so she went into denial mode. But I will never forget how she looked at me as if to say, “You whore”. It will stay with me always. I’m so glad you’re sharing all this with your therapist. I know it’s extremely difficult and, unfortunately, nightmares might continue to happen for a while as you bring everything to the surface. I still get nightmares sometimes. But this is all part of the healing process. You’re doing great! I’m so proud of you!

    Liked by 1 person

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