Residual counseling anxiety

I can’t get myself together. I fell asleep around 9 while watching Democracy Now. I woke up at 10 to my husband handing me a plate. He didn’t approve of my chocolate ice cream dinner. It was a surprise. I feel cared for by him tonight…

My husband knows the basics. He knows I was sexually abused. He knows who did it. He also knows I’m getting counseling. But he doesn’t know this counseling is specific for the trauma because I’m embarassed. As usual. I feel like i should be further along but my rational mind reminds me I’m only on week 6. Less than 2 months. It could take 2 years. My counselor alluded to years…

It is 5 am but I will try again to sleep now. I’ve been up with nightmare anxiety for 2 hours…

I’m having weird physical feelings since my session. I told her about a guy who r@ped me when I was homeless. Typing that causes me instant physical pain. I’m so confused.


One thought on “Residual counseling anxiety”

  1. Therapy is a slow process. I have been in therapy on and off since my late twenties (I’m 56) and I have been in counseling on a bi-weekly basis for the last nine years. I find it helpful to have someone who knows my deepest secrets offer a kind and supportive ear without judgment, as well as offer suggestions as to what I can do to deal with things as they come up. I still get triggered, I still find certain situations difficult – like conflict. I still have issues regarding low self-esteem. Perhaps trying to live in the moment could help, taking one session at a time without keeping track as to how many sessions you’ve had or might need.

    Liked by 1 person

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