I need to get this off my chest…

I met Terry in 1998 when I joined RCIA at my local Catholic parish. I had decided to convert after a mission trip to Bosnia Herzegovina in 1997. Terry was married with a grown daughter my mother’s age. We became very close during the classes that led up to our baptism day. She bought my baptism dress. Terry even learned to drive so we could go to daily mass together before she drove me 40 miles to work. We became very close.

This was at a time I had recently quit speed and my mother bought my dad a condo so I could move home and recover from an OD injury. I will never know what made Terry ask me if he ever hurt me but I came to learn that her husband had molested their daughter when she was a child. Terry, my friend, stayed with this man because of her faith. A faith I can no longer participate in. She was barred from seeing her granddaughter because she stayed with that gross man. I am filled with rage at how that man pretended to be so holy and Christian up at the alter on that day.

I moved away for a few years and I had not stayed in touch. When I moved back to the area, I called for her and found that I had missed her by a matter of months. The pain was too much. The guilt too, I would imagine. She took her life and I will no longer feel any guilt for this Damnit. I hope.

I met with her husband to receive some rosaries. He gave me everything. I’m sure some of this is real jewelry but I don’t want it. I don’t know what to do with it but I need it out of here. He was eager to remove every last trace of her. These bags have been in my closet since 2003.

I’m so mad!!! Why didn’t he take his life instead? Pig. And how dare he pull me aside after mass and say I’m safe with them! Yuck.

I don’t know why I’m thinking about them today.


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