I don’t want to need her…

I feel like she’s buying my silence but she’s paying for medical stuff I need. It makes me feel like a prostitute. There… I said it.

I need my refills and we have no $ until Friday. My friend says mom owes me. Well actually she said she owns me, but I think it was a typo. lol I’m pretty sure. My mother does kinda own me too though. It is complicated…

But it wouldn’t be an issue if my body hadn’t given out. I miss working for many reasons. But most of all, I miss my independence. I only had it for a minute, but I miss it. It is very hard to hear anyone talk about disabled people as “takers”.

The Republicans want to cut SSDI by 20%. We can’t even get by now. Life is too overwhelming. I want to give up but I also don’t want to hurt my husband. So I am stuck and it is driving me mad.

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