It happens every night. I wake up around 3 in a panic. I can’t handle this. Maybe its going to happen forever. I dont know what to do. I’m afraid of him still. I hate admitting that. I feel so stupid.and grossss. Always around 3pm I get flashbacks of him and 3am nightmare. I don’t know to be alone with this without c*tting. I’m trying hard but maybe it’s not enough. I feel broken. Living so my husband isn’t sad.